More Than a Game: A Son’s Perspective of Junior Golf
Written by 1STLt Justin Pagila
Like many collegiate golfers from my generation (born in 1995), I grew up inspired by Tiger Woods. My father introduced me to golf when I was four and I played my first tournament when I was five. At first, my father and I enjoyed golf as a bonding experience. The game became much more than that as I told my parents that I wanted to play college golf, turn professional, and be the next Tiger Woods. As eager parents, they gave me all the support they could to help me fulfill my dream.
My game developed and my thirst for competition grew through elementary and middle school, I spent my summers playing local, state, and national junior tournaments. The costs of practicing every day, travel, lodging, and tournament registration added up. Seeing all the sacrifices that they made, I thought the best way I could repay them was by performing well on the course. This pressure mounted as I approached high school, when college coaches started recruiting.
I’ll never forget my first AJGA tournament. It was the first tournament I had played with college coaches watching. I thought to myself, “This is my chance to impress the coaches and earn a scholarship. My parents will feel like all of the time and money they spent was worth it.” Predictably, I played awful. I had a horrible summer because I was consumed with the thought of “getting recruited.” My parents were upset that I wasn’t performing to my capability, and I felt ashamed that I was wasting their money. Children tend to harbor a lot of shame and guilt when faced with disappointing their parents. It all ended with an elbow injury that turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
As I took time away from the game to let my injury heal, I dabbled in other sports and focused on school. I felt refreshed to live away from the pressure of performing on the golf course. After my elbow fully recovered, I felt the urge to compete on the golf course again. This time, I knew I was doing this for me. I took charge of my practice and tournament schedule. My parents asked where this new motivation came from, leading to an honest discussion of the pressure I used to feel. The clarity that we gained after this conversation was a turning point in my life. My goals became mine, not my parents’. I improved through my sophomore and junior years of high school, playing well enough to garner the attention of the schools I wanted to attend. This journey culminated in committing to West Point to play for Coach Watts.
I don’t want to make it seem like I’m blaming my parents for pushing me too hard. They taught me the value of hard work, preparation, and attention to detail. I learned that it pays to be a winner and that the few moments of enjoying a tournament victory are earned during the hours practicing when others aren’t. To this day, my parents and I reflect fondly on the highs and lows of junior golf. Along the way, we were blessed with opportunities for growth through adversity and triumph. I have three major takeaways from this journey:
Focus on the process over the outcome. I played my best golf when I was so immersed in the process, I did not have the mental space to be distracted by outside, uncontrollable pressures (what coach was watching, how this tournament would affect my ranking, etc.).
Do not attach your identity to your golf score. That score is merely a snapshot in time based on many uncontrollable factors. Your character and how you express them in your daily/weekly practice habits defines you and sets you on your path.
Tell your parents how you feel. Don’t be accusatory, because wording matters. There is a big difference between saying “You put so much pressure on me” versus saying “I feel a lot of pressure to perform because I want to make you proud.” The former starts an argument while the latter generates discussion and understanding.
The fact that you are reading Coach Watts’ blog means that you are already on the right path towards becoming a collegiate golfer. The journey is filled with many twists and turns, and your relationship with your parents is one of them. Do me a favor...give your parents a hug and thank them for giving you the amazing opportunity to play competitive junior golf and potentially take it to the next level. Then, start planning on how to turn your dreams into reality. And, as Coach Watts always says, enjoy the walk!